A Forrest Gump Type of Life

Forrest Gump is an unlikely character to have a memorable memoir, but it’s fiction, so the creator’s creativity makes the character seen possible. In the novel, Forrest is an idiot savant, which makes him more flexible and his large size makes him more noticeable, so the book as an advantage, in making the main character standout. An idiot savant with the capability to perform advanced mathematics fits in situations which the movie’s Forrest doesn’t.

I’ve been dabbling with my own biography, and it’s surprisingly interesting, due to how my childhood speech problem affected my behavior throughout my life. My last two posts, I was Feral Child and F-ing Engaged Girls, are examples from my life. Another thing of interest, my unique ancestry. Only those related to me can legitimately claim to descend from one of the Spanish-speaking tribes of Florida, which makes us indigenous. Written records say my Spanish ancestry dates back to the very, early 1600’s. No one can claim such an ancestry, except those who descend from my mom’s parents. So I’m an unlikely character who is actually real.

While in the Navy, I served aboard a Flagship which was dedicated to Admiral Crowe, the officer who served as Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff before Colin Powell. Before being assigned to the Joint Chiefs of Staff, we served a as the Sixth Fleet Flagship and had Admiral Kelso aboard, a nice guy, who unfortunately got sunk by the Tailhook scandal.

I was a Feral Child

I wasn’t born in the wild, but I couldn’t run to Mommy and Daddy to say so-and-so did such-and-such, or tell a kid “Stop That.” Like a feral child, no one understood a word I said, and like a feral child, I went ape when I got upset. It was said, don’t make him cry. If I cried, monkey-boy would soon be on you, giving everything he’s got.

One day, my brother told me, I beat up some big kid. News to me, don’t remember it. I did notice I hadn’t seen him around for a while and I’m not sure if I saw him ever again. Remember the kid, but no memory of beating him up. Not a surprise, I was feral, didn’t know the term back then, but I’ve felt the transformation into monkey-boy. That’s why I earned the nickname, Rocky, and kept it for the four years I spent aboard ship, in the Navy. It’s not a perfect nickname because I would go bedeck, so monkey-boy would have fit better.

My guess is that I had a condition called, Childhood Apraxia of Speech, and I must’ve found it frustrating. Speaking still causes me frustration. Doctors are particularly frustrating to talk to. So far I’ve only done harm to them in my novels, though silence and an insane laugh which sometimes comes out, scares them a bit. The laugh occurs due to their insanity, I can’t purposefully do the laugh, it just comes out when I find them insane.

F-ing Engaged Girls

A girl engaged to another showed up at my door to see if I could win her over. The girl and I had been flirting for close to three years and she was engaged for all that time. What should I have done? In retrospect, rip her clothes off and throw her in the bed, but at the time, I thought that was a bad idea. Our relationship was much like Jim and Pam from the TV series, The Office. What was mine and Jim’s dilemma?

In the Navy I tried to stop a friend from cheating on his wife. I take commitment seriously. Without a doubt I was horny and I would have asked her out, if she broke away from her fiancé and I may have married her myself, but she was exploring her options while still engaged. Knowing she was engaged, I tried to consider her a friend, but I definitely wanted something more. She certainly didn’t value commitment as much as I did. Over the years she told me how much she enjoyed giving oral and about another fetish which might be embarrassing for others to know. Her neck was a major erogenous zone, so she gave me much ammunition to use when she arrived at my door, but I thought she should end her relationship before moving our relationship forward. Was Jim’s character on the TV show thinking the same, in a fictional way?

Most of those three years, in which we flirted, I was dealing with my father’ s cancer and his eventual death. To make matters worse, I had a mother with serious psychiatric problems. The girl was the sunshine in bleak period of my life. But shortly after the day she came to explore her options , she got married. No, she didn’t say she was exploring her options but she said enough for me to conclude as such. Not surprisingly after she married and immediately after my dad died, I fell into a funk and the flirtations ended, and she shut me out and the friendship ended and when I was in need of a friend.

I never met the other guy, how was their relationship and would I actually like him. They eventually split which isn’t surprising, I question whether Jim had an advantage in the TV series. He knew and could generate hate for the other guy. My girl was my friend and I couldn’t interfere with a relationship which I knew little about. How do you generate hate for a person you don’t know? Like I said, in retrospect I should have ravaged her and not care if I ruined her relationship and whether we could work as a couple. Relationships are hard, I couldn’t even use the three date rule on when to make a move because we didn’t go on what I consider proper dates. She told me sex was on the table that day if I would have made a move and certain that was more than a tease. Her arrival at my door was definitely her giving me a chance to win her over. But was that a decision for me. Shouldn’t she have decided on her longtime fiancé without my involvement?

What does this have to do with my novels? When there’s sex with a female in a submissive position, it’s her inspiring my writing. Is it misogyny? I was hurt and quit my job because of her, my writing may seem misogynistic but I’m just putting feelings into paper or the digital facsimile of such. Taylor Swift, S on this, you think women own the heartbreak songs. Guys own a few, too.

One incident of note happened during those three years. I touched her inappropriately at work by accident. She was standing at the glass door looking out and I came up from behind and put my face next to hers, trying to be cute. There would have been space between us, but my penis decided to close the gap. Guys don’t have full control of what their penis does. An erection can just pop up. It surprised me. She said something and I said I like it back here. She said I noticed and I became cognizant of what happened. No lie, I said whoops and jumped back in surprise because I didn’t do it intentionally. This shows how flirtatious she was and how much she enjoyed it because she truly thought it was cute. Another thing, such an incident is embarrassing for a guy because it was just a partial erection so the size wasn’t something to be proud of.

This may be a running blog because I thought of the way I could have handled that day. When she arrived at my door I immediately said how good she looked and my surprise she came then I asked where he was and she said, away. I should have told her I’ve been keeping myself on leash because you’re engaged and if she walks through the door I’m going to unleash. Speaking isn’t easy for me, and I was left with staying on leash or unleashing a bunch of pent up passion. The leash stayed on. In hindsight, she may have felt rejected because I didn’t make a move and just asked what she wanted to do. We ended up going to lunch, no drinks which to unleash with. Can’t remember if she was 21 and whether the drinking age was at the time. But I should have had a few drinks, though I’m not much of a drinker. Drinks could have let me forget my values and possibly her fiancé. It was a life changing moment for both of us, and watching reruns of, The Office, sent me pondering my past.

She hasn’t aged well, so some may say I dodged a bullet, but I’m more health conscious and may have changed her unhealthy diet and her her exercise regime. Odds are she developed diabetes. Besides I regret not taking pleasure in the moment and really wish I left her walking funny for weeks. Quitting my job wasn’t fun either. Like I said, life changing. Sensed it at the time, but didn’t realize how life changing.

Rethinking the timeline, my dad died a little before hat day, and without him had to deal with my mom. She wasn’t as big of a roadblock than the fiancé but she did weigh on my mind.

Let’s call the girl P because the fetish I didn’t describe above was watching men pee, never heard, it’s slightly humorous but nothing to be too ashamed of. She loved penises, if it were just mine I wouldn’t mind. P never asked about the welfare of my parents during my dad’s long bout with cancer though she knew because all the other women at the office knew, news spreads. P loved the attention I gave her but she should have showed concern and a discussion about my mother before P arrived at my door may have changed the outcome. Mom was a small road block and a prior talk about my mom may have eased my racing thoughts and my problem with speaking when my thoughts are racing. In the movie, Mermaids, Wynona Ryder plays a girl with my problem. The first few minutes after P arrived are etched into my memory but I suspect I got lost in thought and grew silent. Just saying her fiancé was away put me into a quandary, as a friend I would say not to cheat but as the guy who wanted her, ripping off her short shorts was on my mind.

One other thing that I remember well is what she said near the end of the visit. She said her fiancé needed her and she made it seem that the good condition of my apartment showed I didn’t need her and she needed to be needed. I’m sure Pee really meant love, not need. If she asked whether I loved her, I may have explained how I tried not to because she was engaged or I may have simply said yes. It’s stupid to fall in love with an engaged girl, but I was somewhat stupid. It’s also stupid to fall in love with with a stripper and and they tease you too.

Back to P saying her fiancé was away, he wasn’t away, he was there, I couldn’t get him out of my head. To ask P, what she wanted to do, was the only thing I could do. She had to decide.

How did I interpret P saying her fiancé was as away. The way she said it, hinted I should make a move. So I sort of made a mistake, but the question I had was, was she cheating on him, which divided me between a guy who wanted her and the guy who doesn’t believe in cheat. I wanted a relationship with her, her cheating on me would suck. The other thing which came into my head was that he was away and she just wanted someone to do things with, which was better than cheating, so I went with that idea. Years later, I thought back and wondered whether she came to give me a chance to win her over. That idea jives with what she said toward the end of the visit when it seemed she came to a decision. Only she knows. Maybe I’ll contact her but I have mixed feelings on that.

What if I made a move and she still chose to stay with him? I gave to much of my heart to her already. Was a step closer a good idea? That’s where Jim had the advantage, Jim could could evaluate the score. How many points did he have. My passion would have blown her away but my other skills as a lover weren’t practiced enough. Where was my confidence level, since I didn’t make a move—low.

The Seminoles are a Yamasee Mix and They Wiped Out the Spanish Tribes of Florida

The Yamasee tribe has a complicated history but they definitely wiped out the Spanish speaking tribes of Florida, under the name of Seminoles they applied some finishing touches. What initially complicates Yamasee history is they were once a Spanish speaking tribe known as the Guale. A Spanish mission in Georgia served and tormented the Guale.

Native American tribes practiced polygamy and the Catholic Church didn’t allow two wives which led to many problems but one of the first of note happed when the Guale chief wasn’t allowed a second wife so he wiped out the friars serving at the mission. Eventually the Guale tribe was split in two and the anti-Spanish faction became the Yamasee. Apparently some Guale went to Florida and joined with the Spanish speaking tribes of Florida. Ties between the factions made from the Guale may have remained and both may have been called the Yamasee but one group was very anti-Spanish and history notes the attacks on the tribes of Florida, such as the Timucua and the Ais. Wikipedia says the Yamasee wiped out the Ais but it should be noted they and the Seminoles are the reason some of the Timucua went with the Spanish to Cuba. My Native American ancestor had a Spanish name, Seminoles have English derived names to go with their tribal name, for this reason my ancestor was likely Timucuan. Without a doubt the Seminoles got their Florida lands and their casino money from violence to the Spanish speaking tribes of Florida. I’m an ex-nuke from the US Navy, does anyone think I can’t avenge my Timucuan ancestors if I do choose, and the Seminoles are definitely part Yamasee.

The Quackery of Rebirth Therapy

A scene from my novel, Factions of a dWARf, mocks rebirth therapy; in which, psychoanalysts have their patients re-experience birth. The TV series Monk had the title character remember the trauma of childbirth, for laughs. It’s difficult to to take such therapy seriously.

There is reason to begin at the beginning, though. My novels involve a genetic memory drug and it’s unpredictable what memories would come to the surface and what manner they would appear, but I began at the beginning and moved forward in time for simplicity, sake. If god exists, evolution is more credible as an origin story than Adam and Eve, so I began with the origin of life and moved forward.

Unnatural Population Explosions

For centuries, Florida has been invaded. Natural population growth allows the most people in a territory to have genes of the native population. Many in the US have Native American genes, but most do not. In Florida, it’s much less likely. My Native American ancestor had a Spanish name so I’m likely related to the Timucua or the other Spanish speaking natives, who were the true native tribes. It’s less likely that the Seminole tribe has indigenous genes, so there are few with native ancestry. If you’re not related to my family you are likely an invader.

Wikipedia says some of the Appalachee tribe still exists and they would be a tribe indigenous to Florida and have more rights to lands owned by the Seminole tribe. I’m sure my family has right to Seminole casino money, too.

The Deplorable Celebration of Obama on the Colbert Show

If Obama was Japanese he wouldn’t be showing his face, he would fall on his sword over Afghanistan. Obama decided to arm and train the Afghan military and we see how that turned out. Money which could used for building America went to the Taliban to enjoy. The news clip of Taliban soldiers at a amusement park shows what trillion s of dollars went for. A person should be hanging his head, not playing around for a TV audience less than a week after the debacle Biden made of the military exit.

Doctors are Terrorists

I developed a cataract due to taking quetiapine and I told the doctor and he still wanting to prescribe me the same stuff. Apparently he doesn’t see cataracts as a problem attained by quetiapine though I see it in the list of problems caused by quetiapine. He must want to make me completely blind, I’ve already lost one eye and surgery isn’t likely in the near future and with my luck with doctors the surgery will probably go horribly wrong.

Doctors have been a cause of direct and indirect terrorism throughout my life. The time I went in and was told my blood clot was a skin infection though I knew better provided as an example of the horrible doctors I’ve had. Of course, I had a blood clot and many more mistakes were made which could have killed me before finally getting the problem resolved. Everything about my treatment for social anxiety falls under the category of terrorism, I advise no one to seek treatment for tat condition. It’s no wonder this has become such a mess. Between doctors and politicians, what can go right?

A Legitimate Case for the Richest Lawsuit in History

We own Florida, the Seminoles are one of the richest Native American tribes in the country, but owe all their wealth to land which doesn’t belong to them. Spanish speaking tribes are the rightful heirs of Florida, which means the descendants of my Native American ancestor (who had Spanish name) own Florida, including the land which the Seminole casinos sit own. Any lawyers with guts who want to take own a landmark case should contact me through this site or by using the contact info from my novels. My tribe never signed a treaty so the size of this lawsuit is record breaking.

Being Jim, from The Office

I watched reruns of The Office which is somewhat painful because I had similar relationship with a receptionist at work. Nice guys finishing last is as real as an office romance, my advice is to be not so nice. Life isn’t as simple as TV, my dad had cancer and died during that period of flirtation.

Recently I began thinking of her again, though I’m not really into BDSM, thoughts of her have made me wonder if pleasure could be gotten from a gift of gag. In my second novel the main character has some of my pain. My first novel was actually written second has more BDSM with women in the submissive position and my painful relationship may have been subconsciously directing me.

Between social anxiety and my wounded heart may have left a few women feeling rejected by me and I’m sorry for the pain I may have caused. Complete strangers have remarked about my resemblance to Paul McCartney from the Beatles, so I guess I’m cute though I really didn’t feel very special, but girls got crazy over Paul, so a couple of girls who said they dreamed about me, may have.

My writing has come to a halt, but my unrequited love may have inspired a porn piece. If you’re curious, the death of my father sent me into a funk and the girl shut me out because I wasn’t much fun, I quit my job and haven’t left myself vulnerable to any other women.