Blurb-1

When She-it screams, embrace the freak; Kal finds he has no other choice. She-it runs the Cabeiri Cult, and her cult wants Kal’s genetic memories.

Blurb-2

Big Al booby-trapped a mask and she sent her cult to kidnap Kal, who gets taken for a ride.

Blurb-3

The Cabeiri cult tried to jimmy a secret out of Jimmy. He died. Now, they turn their eye to Kal.

Blurb-4

She-it is a dwarf who loves the–it; she runs a fertility cult. Honey takes a gift to Kal, a drug-laced mask. The Aussie and the Jamaican help Honey nab Kal; they work for She-it. The cult wants Kal’s genes; they had his cousin Jimmy. Emphasis on–had. Kal just wants his face and his life back. She-it makes toys; she made the mask for Kal.

.Blurb-5

Honey delivers a gift to Kal. The gift is a mask; a booby-trapped mask. Big Al runs a fertility cult and she sent Honey to kidnap Kal; Big Al is She-it and she made the mask.

When She-it screams embrace the freak; Kal finds he has no other choice. What does the mask do? It delivers a drug to unlock the genetic past. Kal takes two trips, one with the cultists, and the other in the Shaman world of Dreamtime.

Analysis of my Blurbs

Query letters need a hook, so I put my various hooks in one spot.Now, I just need to choose. I favor the first one because I know what it means. This may be too abstract for some. My use of two names for my dwarf character complicates some of these blurbs. Four and five say the most; five may be the best. Length is a factor. Bloggers on the subject of query letters say not to use gimmicks. The third one may be too gimmicky. Number two is simple, but I’m not sure it has enough hook.

Calling the mask drug-laced or booby-trapped is another decision. Booby is a fortuitous pun for a fertility cult. The drug is actually injected but laced works well enough and lace wears well on the fertility cultists.

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