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Dissection of a Misanthrope

The Writing Diary of M Brace DeFreak

Impossible to please every writing app

SlickWrite and ProwritingAid measure sentence-breaks differently, the Slickwrite measures from period to period, but the ProwritingAid treats a semicolon like a period. Both apps measure the variety in sentence length, but the apps measure differently. Paperrater sucks, for a creative fiction author; James Joyce does the best of authors I sampled, but his work doesn’t pass all the tests.

ProwritingAid notes how sentence transitions apply to non-fiction, so failure for a fiction writer in that statistic is meaningless; while, Paperrater never mentions the difference between fiction and non-fiction–and just fails you. Sentence transitions (i.e. meanwhile and therefore) are different from temporal transitions or transitions of place, but I notice most don’t explain the difference. Paperrater faults simple sentence starts, but I’m not sure you can do much about that without adding prepositions.

Paperrater faults simple sentence starts, but I’m not sure you can do much about that without adding prepositions. The app did show how I tend to tack transitional phrases on the end and less often begin the sentence with a transitional phrase (I.e. before, after, near, and etc…), so I saw one benefit.

 

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Little Egypt Unveiled

Little Egypt represents the type of girls who join my cult. Ashea Wabe (born Catherine Devine (1871 – January 3, 1908)[3] Wikipedia says this particular Little Egypt enjoyed success via scandal (succès de scandale) by getting arrested for intent to go nude, the cops went in too early. Considering how much money she had when she died you gotta wonder if she performed other services.

Such dancers became common for a while but Wikipedia lists three who danced as Little Egypt. Billboard magazine advertised for such jobs in Florida, so my circus cult would certainly be feasible. Anyone who danced the Dance of Seven Veils would be eligible for my fictional cult. I often call the cult a Mata Hari cult and she danced the dance. The Elvis Presley,  Roustabout featured the Little Egypt dancers.

Slavery is alive and well in Africa

Obama’s African ancestors practiced slavery and more than likely were practicing after the American Civil War. One of the largest slaveholders in Florida was an African woman Anna Madgigine Jai Kingsley who inherited her husband’s massive holdings and one thing of note, her husband patterned his life after African chieftain’s; which, is why he had multiple wives. The Spanish and Portuguese practiced slavery much longer than the British who primarily settled the US, but the hatred always gets aimed at the South; even though, New Jersey had more slaves than every Southern state; excluding South Carolina. Why not call Africans and people from Spanish colonies Nazis like you do Southerners. I’m Native American and I can’t help but have Southern ancestry because my ancestors were here before the Pilgrims landed in Plymouth Rock. Death to the racism of Obama and Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor. Han Chris Mathews of NBC and cut the heads of the network who puts someone like Chris Matthews on air. I venture into hyperbole when I’m angry, but the rage has to come out somehow–you lousy holier than thous.

Adding bits of narration

I don’t see the importance in adding details to a dialogue driven scene, but some readers prefer details. One piece of narration, I added, showed the scene occurs, as the main character leaves a classroom. The location is meaningless to me, but I suspect others prefer a locale. If someone wants more details they have the wrong writer. When the main aspect of the scene could take place elsewhere, I’m not enthusiastic about offering description.

Forced to adapt to the invaders

Even the Seminoles are invaders to Florida, in comparison in my family. People attack me for being a Southerner but big fat mouthed liberals shut their trap when they find out I’m not just your average White guy. The rude lady from the drawbridge was one such person.  All  I get from the invaders is rudeness, traffic, and anxiety. Death to the racism of Obama and Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor. Death to the liberal hypocrisy of NBC’s Chris Mathews. Death to NBC for allowing Chris Mathews to still appear on TV.

The Alpha-female

Females use social aggression rather than, male preferred, physical aggression. The main character, in my novel, progresses from ‘butt of jokes’ to Alpha — piss in your face territory. Yes, my dwarf is physically aggressive, too, but her power comes from the social circle. Rosalind Wiseman‘s self-help book targets adolescents, but adult women play the same game. Anything to do with body image comes from pressure by peers and the fashion industry which more often features gay guys. Straight guys have preferences in body image, but the constant pressure doesn’t come from us.

The Blind Detective

Baynard Kendrick had an interest in Florida history and blind people, and I share these interests; even though, my interest expands beyond blind people; I’m interested in anyone who deviates from the norm. I allude to Kendrick, in my novel, and such allusions will be missed if I don’t record my use. The image on the left comes from a movie based on Kendrick’s book.

The block quote below comes from Kendrick’s Wikipedia page: Blind

Baynard Hardwick Kendrick (April 8, 1894–March 22, 1977) was an American mystery novelist. He wrote whodunit novels about Duncan Maclain, a blind private investigator who worked with his two German shepherds and his household of assistants to solve murder mysteries. The novels were the basis for two films starring Edward ArnoldEyes in the Night[1] (1942) and The Hidden Eye[2] (1945). Kendrick was credited by Stirling Silliphant for being the source of the Longstreet character about a blind insurance investigator. He also wrote using the pseudonym Richard Hayward. His book Lights Out was filmed as Bright Victory.

Bash the fat rich liberal icons of Hollywood

The disparity between my income and liberals of Hollywood who promote attacks against me is probably greater than what was going on in Civil War times, but the liberals have worked hard to send away jobs from guys like me. Fear the wrath of the crazy mad Timucuan if you are a liberal hypocrite on my Native land – If Kaepernick sets foot in Florida a Native American I may be butchering Peter King of Sports Illustrated for my Thanksgiving reversal dinner. I don’t care much for the Civil War statues but the greatest African American writer Zora Neale Hurston hated the rich White liberals of the North–read The Pet Negro and preferred her treatment in the South. I’m certain she would get along much with me than you progressive holier-than-thou’s. Bust up the Oscars and every celebration of fat rich liberals; whether they be white, black or somewhere in between.

Dialogue and calling the shot

You can narrate a piece through dialogue and that’s what I did. When you play billiards you can close your eyes after someone calls their shot and you can hear and predict the rest. In scenes where the setting doesn’t matter and only an exchange of dialogue occurs, you have little need for narration. But, I used too little narration in one particular scene and I botched the ‘show, don’t tell’ rule of writing by telling readers about wood carvings and never highlighting their presence by having characters interact with them.

I’m not a natural-born storyteller and I write this post as a reminder of what I did wrong. If you note something interesting within a setting — you need characters to interact in various ways. Yes, you can have the character announce his or her actions, but you need to activate another sensory process, don’t just say something is there.

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