Tits up, to the birds of Bird Key

Our feathered friends once owned Bird Key, but it wouldn’t surprise me, if the PETA  people rule the mansions of Bird Key, now. Guy Bradley put his life on the line to protect nature and our feathered friends, but because he was a White guy the Liberal hypocritical establishment and militant feminists would bash him.

If you want to use the power of sexuality for a cause—you should consider our feathered friends.

Humping on PETA People


What do you call the dog of a PETA person? A lucky dog. If you believe in the ethical treatment of animals; you have to let humping dogs hump. Do you have the right to not let Humpy hump?

I fear Batman may one day start singing soprano? Christian Bale makes his dog eat vegan. What happens when a pit bull hears the call of nature and wants some meat? Batman might lose his sausage and meatballs. If Batman has a big dog; he might need to allow Humpy to have a happy ending.

I have another PETA conundrum in my book. I allude to Pamela Anderson, but I would prefer a PETA person from Florida. Two PETA Fox’s  grew up here, but I don’t think either is iconic enough. Iconic people say something about an era and my book examines eras. If I expanded my last post to show how a Pirate from 1669 might see a Lettuce Lady; you might get a better idea of what I am attempting. The term, “buccaneer” is related to the term, “barbeque.” I’m not sure how a pirate would deal with Vegan Batman, but I’m sure the Lettuce Ladies would get a generous helping of meat. Culture does not make a quick and uniform change. You can ask people to think, but radical change often leads to new problems.

Megan Fox (left) Jorja Fox (right) Korean wolves (bottom) all images from Wikipedia.



What might a group of pirates on shore leave ask Pamela Anderson? Lettuce Lady let us lay ye. How much pirate booty is needed for barmaid booty at a vegan bar? None. Sea Dogs should get it for free, under ethical treatment of animal rules.

I allude to PETA and Pam in my novel due the to use of sexual imagery and the cultish loyalty. Pam has been more than a face to PETA., but I prefer to use Florida people like Johnny Depp. I keep thinking about writing her out, but she still remains. I have no problem with PETA, but I think they need to offer more info about going vegan. Some people risk health problems when they go vegan and anyone can have problems if they don’t do vegan the right way. The consumerism effect on wildlife is another item they fail to address.

PS to Pam: If ye finds ye-self in a Pirates movie. Ye might think to lay me as an agent fee, teehee, teehee.


It Gives Good Tail

MANATEE_FUGAnd I mean the Manatee. It did the ooze.  You know the butt up – butt down undulation move that starlets do; like a Candace Parker, go to move. You may have seen the Fox do it at the movies. Miss Jones did it all through, Entrapment, looking like 007 bait. I know why horned seamen dreamed in mermaid, about manatee tail. I’m joking and I’m not. Any PETA girl, named Fox, wanting me to show them how much I love a manatee; drop me a line. I might take me some hook, line and sinker. I don’t joke about Candace, Last I knew her husband was one big dude.

Conan had a Horny Manatee and 13 Miami authors combined to make Naked Came the Manatee. Conan may have it backward.

Monkey Girl Will You Marry This Lizard Brained BOY?


Percilla the Monkey Girl wins my heart. The supermodel, on the left, looks a bit ugly to me even when she waxes. The Percilla and Emmitt Bejano offer a unique love story. My lizard brain responds to supermodels, but it demands much less. Women make the rules and standards; men just go, “Doi-ng!” Feminism has two factions, those who exploit and those who hate exploitation. The first type has power enjoys their power over lizard; the other type wants to crush lizards. Lizards have a purpose, so have mercy on the lizard. Supermodels respect the less purrr-ty and have mercy on the lizard, too. People are animals and superficiality hurts all types of animals. PETA needs to stop the hypocrisy. Feminists go easy on the lizard; the lizard can’t help being a lizard. Think about all the baby lizards.

PETA Hypocrisy?


Does consumerism hurt animals? Does it put animals (humans) in sweatshop cages? PETA does ask people to think, but I’m not sure they ask enough. The Brooke Hogan ad has merits because it delivers a simple message. I want to sue PETA for hurting my head with the three Joanna Krupa ads. She makes a good model for shallow consumerism and I think I’m correct in saying such behavior hurts animals. I meant for this post to be about feminism, so let me quote Stan Lee (he got it from Voltaire):

“With great power comes great responsibility.” (in regards to sex appeal)


Moby said to Ahab, “That’s not a harpoon”


I joke because that isn’t a real whale. It is a big dork, but a fake dork. It comes from Scheveningen in the Netherlands. The artist, Dirk Claesen, made it. You can read a bit about it on Wikipedia. My book has a fertility cult, so you can see why I bring up the dork and the many euphemisms. Human males don’t have bones in their boners; other male mammals do. They call the bone a baculum and some say it is Adam’s Rib. The joke in the title mirrors the joke in Crocodile Dundee II and ends with, “this is a harpoon.” This post also has a PETA purpose; more in a later post.